What happens, when as a leader you think you are the smartest of 'em all?
Well, you simply have managed to
discover the brightest recipe for becoming a genuinely bad leader! Congratulations!
Let's unravel 8 well-guarded secrets of becoming an truly bad leader. Follow them and you would secure your place in posterity.
1.
Criticise,
criticise, criticise some more …
Use criticism as a tool
of leadership, always doubt the abilities of the very team that you once handpicked
– ensure that you lead a pack of demotivated, uninspired individuals, going through
the paces, in an unproductive environment. If anything, it would certainly pump your
ego, at the expense of making others feel small. Isn’t it a great incentive to
start with?
2.
Attention! At
ease. Attention! At ease. Attention! At ease. Attention …
To become a bad leader, you must
assume that every single member of the unit will react in an identical way to your
leadership style. It’s a cardinal mistake for individuals to believe that you’d
recognize and adapt to the variety in strengths and expectations. They are all
clones; flip-flop switches; you know them all so very well. They don’t need an awesome
story to stay collectively committed towards a great vision. They are so wrong
and you are so right!
3.
Spank them
all to glory – their rear belongs to you …
You are a magician, trust me! Don’t
believe in those naysayers who celebrate great leaders that swear by talent, competency
and empowerment. You rightfully believe flogging can turn the floppiest of
donkeys into powerful stallions! You are such a bad leader already and you can
become worse by having them convinced over a period of time that they indeed are
lucky to have their rear diligently assaulted as a price for their unquestioned
faith and servitude. You are relentless in your pursuit of turning the mundane
into the precious. You could soon become the first alchemist, that humanity would
ever produce.
4.
Mistakes
are criminal! Kill them with impunity …
A good leader encourages his team
to commit mistakes and learn from them – that’s so utterly imprudent! To be a bad
leader of substance, you must always ensure that no one ever dares to commit
any mistake at all. None whatsoever. You may permit them to be flattered by allowing
them fleeting moments of empowerment but decisively deceive them by meticulously
shooting down every plan they make and every decision they take, using your
rightful power of veto. You are the highness, only you are allowed to fail. For
others it must be strictly forbidden.
5.
Everyone must
believe there’s a plan, no one should question …
If you have to reach the echelons
of bad leadership just demolish every alternative idea, annihilate every seeker
of truth, decimate every query that you don’t have an answer to. No one should
ever dare to question your grand vision. No one is quarter as good as you are,
neither should they aspire to be so. You are the holy cow! Are they out of
their mind to question the prudence of your prophetic vision? No one should
ever dare to call your bluff, even if they know that you are spinning a web of lies,
to satisfy your short-term goals. Every brain around you must believe in your
infallibility.
6.
Never ever
get rid of bad people …
Good leaders try and keep the plate
clean – how reckless and foolhardy of them. Bias, bias and more bias. That’s
how it should be. You need a coterie. You need a team that warms up to your weirdest
of bull-crap. A bad leader must have enormous charisma – you must never have to
deal with a ‘no’ from anyone around you. Good people will question you more
often than not, seek recognition for competency, try to make decisions and base
their actions on what they believe is good for the team in the long run. They
are bad influence. Chuck them, good riddance! You must invest in bad people.
7.
Divide and
rule … must make it your gospel truth!
Never ever allow a unit, to its
truest philosophy or spirit! The more divided they are, more secure is your
leadership. Trust me when I say that you can get away with murder, when you are
an inspirational leader of a bunch of shady crabs! If they ever get to see merit
in operating as a unit, a genuine team, your heist would come to an end. You
must never allow that. Unity is disastrous for you. You have to become an
iconic bad leader, the worse of ‘em all, you see. Of course, the secret is to
be able to create a closed coterie of drooling suckers who would start
salivating at the slightest scent of your irresistibly corrupt ideas. The rest should
be taken to the cleaners!
8.
Care to become
an iconic bad leader? Be a bloody good student of bad leadership first …
Leadership streaks show way before you reach
the helm. Never ever think your team achieving their individual goals will add
up to your grand vision. Kill every personal dream. Shoot down every aspiration
that raises its ugly head. Inspiring others is such a waste of time, just ask
people to follow your infallible vision, assuming that you ever had one, other
than making some quick personal gains. Never try to become better, you were
already so damn good, what’s the point in wasting time? Never try to help
people achieve greater competence, better relationships or even liberty of
choices. Never give people their due credit, never – you don’t want anyone in
your team to get too cocky for your comfort! Belittle their modesty as their
weakness, trample their confidence, enslave them till their souls are
completely robbed of any trace life or dream! You have then truly achieved what
you set out to at the very start –a very bad leader!
